bear with it eh?

lifes been pretty neat these days.

living an OL life and trying to be a teenager at the same time.

at times, its really difficult cause you really want to play but you really cant uh?!

but the company's been really nice to me.

with all the leaves and mc's im taking. usually,in other company, its time to say byebye already, but no, their tolerance level is super high. which is why, im putting so much more pressure on myself. one small mistake and i really beat myself real up.

only my really good friends know ive actually broke down a couple of times at work. seriously, i dont know why i reacted that way. but trust me, its really demoralizing when you do wrong stuffs at work ok?

its seriously freakin' fuckedup. no words can describe uhh.

for that whole week, i questioned myself.

am i suitable for this job?

should i even start a full-time job this quickly?

am i even capable enough or not!!

its very frustrating. ive even talked to all my bosses regarding this issue and they've been really nice. its like now, im obligated to do an even better job.

i have to tahantahantahan. i have to get my morale up and going. i have to be how i used to be!

besides work, my relationships with the people around me are getting a little better.

ive learnt to suck things up and not be so jealous anymore. changing my mentally and not thinking too much actually helps uh.

my close guy friends are all in army for about a week now.

without them, the frequent meetups become not so frequent anymore:( but for some reason, whenever we go out for dinner for the past week, we still talk and think about them. sometimes, if we're lucky,they'll call:)

good to hear updates from them ehh!

so actually, thats just a quick update on my current life uh.

theres actually moree luhh, but twitter's a little more updatable:) HAHAH

byebye

ended poly life unofficially 2 months ago and frankly speaking, life isnt going in the direction that i want it to.

got offered a job at my intern company during my internship and ive been doing the same thing for the past 5 months already.

anyone who knows me, would know my fire for a job only last for a maximum of 6 months. everyone is betting on me leaving this job before my 6th month and im kindda on the verge of quitting anytime soon.

im trying very hard to live with this job but to tell you the truth, i aint very close with my colleagues. the 5 minute talk's with them is good enough for me already. i dont really need to 'bond' with them cause i dont really see the need to be bonded with them. the people in there are very 'FOR THEMSELVES' and they dont give a shit to what you're doing uh. and maybe its because of that, i tend to distant myself away from them. not going to gatherings, not hanging out and even not lunching with them.

im not being difficult or what but to me, i forge friendships for a reason and with people i want to and need to. well, maybe i am being difficult afterall.

enough talking about work, upon unofficially graduated from poly, ive been on a couple of trips, overseas:)

good times.

on the another hand, ive never been good with dealing with relationships.

family friends, im not very confident with my relationships with them.

talking about stuffs about them is also very sensitive to me and but somehow ive found some people i trust to talk things about. people who are willing to be my listening ears and give me advise. the people i think are worth being friends with. pouring everything out to them do make things slightly less heavy on my side.

ok, this is stupid.

bye

'theres a time for everything.' thats what people would say.

but they just don't realize i don't have time for everything. its different.

having worked in the same environment for the past 2 months is crazy. its becoming more and more mundane.

the thought of me, in the same environment for the next few years, is depressing.

loads of i'd wonder.

after I've accepted the position, i realize i don't have time for myself.

its just five-half day work every other day.

im just a young kid. i wanna have fun. i dont wanna settle so soon.

sucks having to grow up.

i also realize, whenever i talk university education with my parents, i'd get bloody frustrated.

very annoyed. prolly cause i get mad at myself for not being able to make into local uni and for having no directions.

i haven't got a clue what i wanna major in.

i hate IT, SCIENCE, BUSINESS, ENGINEERING. tell me what's left then! ARTS?

ive thought about social sciences. psychology was a path i wanted to take in secondary school, but again, tons of reading and my reading mood fluctuates. its crazy.

chinese new year is 2 days away.

seriously, i havent gotten into the festive mood.

i havent gone to chinatown, river angbao, nothing!

weird year.

hope it gets better:)

second time to China this year.

spending time with almost strangers for a month was no foreign thing to me.

hainan was worse eh. i knew no one. LOL.

one month is a lot to blog about, so, i'd cut it short.

it was full of

HEI CHE and

i really loved the trip despite the very unnecessary details of the two accidents i've encountered.

the orange shoes to blame!! HMMMPPHH!

thought the living conditions werent really what i expect, i think i really fell in love with it over time. i kindda missed it uhh. the mosquito net:)

i miss the toliet! the freakishly hot water and squat toilet!! LOL.

i spent money like mad there luhh only cause stuffs there were dead cheap.

till now, i can't get use to the currency:(

grew really close with the almost-strangers in the trip.

which is a good thing i think?

fyp's almost ending soon and my project is so going no where.

up till now, we are still changing the GUI.

freeeeaaaaak!!!

toodles:)

sometimes i just wish i could create a program just like blogger for my project.

it seems like a piece of cake to clickclicktypetype and tadah! post published.

but the codings and the amount of JavaScript i have to implement in it is like freakishly omg.

blogger help me luh!

its just aint as easy as i thought luh. sucks.

im leaving Singapore in like 10 days time.

seems shorter and shorter everyday.

its gonna turn to a single digit soon.

not that i'll be missed by many uh, but i will miss many:)

on a random note,

i think my cheena writing sucks luhh.

during fyp, i'd write little post sticks to those that will be staying in Singapore saying,

BU YAO XIANG WO and i can't write XIANG. LOL!

tons of meetup next week and parents are going on an impromptu trip next week.

time and money and brains.

my top three want list!

toodles peeps:)

(Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Seventieth Birthday Speech," p. 716, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910, Library of America (1992).)

i totally love this quote:)